Making a silent lounge

I am very easily overstimulated, especially by sound and by social interaction. Therefore, when I go to a conference or hacker camp I plan my days so that I can find some space alone a few times per day to wind down. Usually I find some place where I can be alone for a bit (my tent, or a slightly more quiet area of the venue) but I see that many of these events have some sort of quiet area which is great! A place to relax, to hide from the very intense world for a bit, and to recharge for the next few hours.

Unfortunately, not all of them work for me. For example, the one on MCH2022 was pretty great... except that it was way too hot for me. There's not much the organizers could have done about that (we were in the middle of a heatwave) but I do appreaciate the work the organizers put in there.

The ideal place for me looks like this: it's quiet or there's some soft ambient or drone music, there are mattresses, pillows and blankets to lie down, maybe some blåhaj to cuddle, and if there are other people they just leave me alone (no well-intended "are you okay?" while all I need is some alone time). The lights are not too bright, and maybe there can be some colorful mood lighting (as long as it doesn't change too often, for me it's fine when change is barely perceptible or slower). Also, what helps me is to make the environment not entirely disconnected from the rest of the event, just a very quiet version of it. For example by being close to the event (if not too noisy) or by making the theme similar to the rest of the event.

Of course, that's what works for me. What works for other people could be very different.

It's also important to keep in mind there are various senses and some people are more sensitive to one than the other. For example there's sound, light, temperature, smell, texture (of fabrics), and many more. For me the most important one is sound, but I have that one nailed down pretty well using noise cancelling headphones. The next most important one for me is probably being left alone. While well intended, every time someone asks "are you okay?" that's a moment where I get pulled out of my relaxed state and it takes a while to get into it again.

So what would an ideal silent lounge look like? Here are some things that I think are important:

• It's great if the entire area can be a no-shoe zone, with places to lie down. Mattresses, pillows and blankets work, but for example beanbags can also work great in a place like that. Variation is especially nice so that you can pick what works for you.
• In my opinion, if it is intended to be a quiet area, this should be made very clear. I've had a few times where people were talking in an area like that, ruining it for me. So it's great if it can be made explicit how much is allowed: no talking at all, only whispering, or only quiet talking for example. With a sign at the entrance so it can't be missed. Also things like laptop usage (keyboards!) can be distracting, so that's something to consider.
• While I might like some soft ambient music, others might prefer silence (or a different kind of music) so I think it's best to not play anything.
• Ideally the lights are dimmed somewhat. Especially white fluorescent lights can be very harsh. I don't have much of a problem with lights (and if needed I usually carry a sleeping mask) but I know people who are very sensitive to it. For me personally I also like having some mood lighting, as long as it doesn't visibly move (it might change, just very very slowly).
• It's nice if the environment also fits with the event. For example, I remember there was a small no-shoe area at FOSDEM that looked really nice (though I forgot how it looked like). If only I had discovered it early, it was easy to miss somewhere in a corner. What I especially don't like is having a room with nothing in it: just plain walls with no decoration. However, some people might prefer exactly that (no distractions) so it varies.
• If you want to go the extra mile, there are a few things that can make the place even better. For example, by providing foam earplugs or water for those who forgot them.

I hope this helps anybody who wants to build such a place! I might update this post in the future, but for now this is what I came up with.